He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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