Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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