the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
