White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
