that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
