me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
