If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
