He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
