how can u be prego again
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
