its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
