Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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