No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
