if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
