Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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