I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
