If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
