Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
