we have officially lost it.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
