I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
