Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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