i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
