her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
