just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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