I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize