So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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