he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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