whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
