I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my shit smells like andre
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
