Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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