The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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