she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
