so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
