I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i've created a new STD.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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