Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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