do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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