So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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