He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize