Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think my vagina is haunted
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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