It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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