Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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