i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
