I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
