I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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