i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize