she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I can't turn off my feet"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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