now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
