so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
