I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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