i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
