I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
