So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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