Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
