U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
