you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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