tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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