Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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