That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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